~The fate of Death Gods in MY HANDS~

Thursday, March 20, 2008

I want to be better, I want to strive to be better. No! I want to be best! Yes, that's what I want. I want to be best. But, there is only one best for one person so if I'm best, the person who wants to be best can't be, and everyone wants to be best.

I was never best or top until Primary 5. Reason being, I'm too smart. Haha. Yes, that's the fact. I went to the top class every year in my primary school, and every year, I didn't top the class. There was always someone better than me and they were really good. They could score straight hundred when I was only aiming for straight 80s. They then became my school top PSLE 'scorer'. When I was still in the top class in Primary 3, I slacksd. I didn't have the motivation to carry on studying. It was useless. I couldn't be top, and the marks i cscored weren't for me, but my parents. The then I could have been known to everyone as hopeless. I studied only to make sure that I was still in the top class the next year. I was in the top class only till primary 4. It was expected. How could someone actually still remain in the top class when they were studying only for the sake of studying? But thanks to Father and His plan of placing me in the second class, the today me was formed.

The pupils of the second class seem to be especially weak in maths, which, was my best and favourite subject. I top the class in maths for just the first term, and then, I wanted to top the class again. I studied very hard, just to ensure that I top the class again. I maths teacher, was elated, she made me monitress. I suppose, haha, I was her pride. Soon after, due to some reasons, my teacher changed. But still, with hard work, and the great effort I put in, I still top the class, with Kamala and Natdanai competing with me. We, somehow took turns to top the class.

My English wasn't as good as it is now. You could actually expect a 65 in my English language then.(We actually changed a total of 3 teachers during my P5 days) Except for Ms Heng, I didn't really bother about how badly I've done for my English and Chinese. My science used to be quite too. I had 84 for the third term and when I had 79 for the next, Ms Heng really seem to be quite angry with me. Well, get back to English and Chinese. My English wasn't that good, even though it wasn't that bad too. 65-75 were the range of my english score for the whole of the P5 year. It isn't that bad as compared to my chinese language. Chinese was a total let down. When comparing subjects scores or anything, my friends would only compare my chinese scores. They knew it would be difficult to win me in the other few subjects. haha, I was really very, very smart, and am still very smart. My chinese failed twice, and lucky as I am I pass the term 4 chinese, with a score of 50/100. I was, well, satisfied, I wasn't even expecting a pass. I was to go to the not so good yet not so bad chinese class when I was in P6. My then friends used to tease me with my chinese results.

With new friends, I set a higher goal. There were pupils in my class who scored 100/100 for maths while I only scored 80++(I was in still in the 2nd best class when I was in P6). I strived harder, yet still, cannot be best in maths. There were still people scoring 100. Like me, they have weaknesses too. I was bad in chinese and they were weak in English. Unexpectedly, I top the class in English!! I 100% wasn't expecting it. My science wasn't that bad, though I hated science. But still, i was probably in the top 5 for science? Well, my english top the class at the first exam, and my teacher started to pin her hopes on me. But during the second exam, my english result dropped terribly. Everyone was dissappointed. Even I was dissappointed. Someone else top the class, an arch rival of mine, i suppose. My chinese also improved a lot! i scored 75 through out the year, and none of my friends dared to challange me, because I was better than them as each term pass. They no longer teased me. During the thirld term, I top the class in English once again. And my maths, if i can remember, did not top the class. Someone scored 100 again, but well, I didn't mind. I still top the class in English, and, I was 3rd in my class for prelim(class, not level)! Well, too bad, there wasn't an award.

My sec school results.... Maths 95, science 76, English 76, geography 55, Literature 60, History 85, Chinese 38.

As you can see, I got a disgusting score. So ugly, when I studied especially hard for it. I wasn't expecting it. And today, I want to strive for the for it once again. Today, we had a self introduction. It was about what your ambition is. Worst of all, it had to be said in chinese. I was racking my brain, pulling my hair yestarday as to what to say. There is so much I want to say but unfortunately, I don't have the ability to do it. What I can say was limited due to my poor chinese vocab. There is so little words in my chinese dicitionary. But today, I went to the front of my class and said whatever I wanted to. I mustered my courage to go up in front of the class. I told the class that I want to be a light stewardess, even though I want to be president, because flight stewardess only need to know basic chinese. I told them that the usage of chinese in me was limited. I speak english to everyone. But today, my teacher said that i did pretty well in the self-introduction. He said I can do better in future. With just this slight encouragement, I felt that my chinese still has hope. Hope was formed. I want to strive to be better in my chinese language. I want to thank, Mr Neo for his encouragement and Xin Er for helping me out. My mother yestarday wasn't really able to help me. Her chinese is as bad as mine, and I don't think I have say about my dad's chinese. It is far worse than mine. Can't blame them. They are English educated. Their poor child got their genes and, their child's chinese became as bad.

Anyway, I did well today!! I speak more than 3mins in a row. Yay!! I want to thank Mr Neo and Xin Er again. THANK YOU!!

Child Prodigy,
Cheryl (=

slashed @ 2:13 AM
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